Master the Art of Negotiation

Use psychology to control the conversation.

Negotiation is a strategic discussion to find common ground between two different perspectives. It also gives us the unique narrative of each individual participating in the discussion, shaped by their socialisation, personal experiences, and deeply embedded values. It's for this reason that negotiations are often emotionally fueled. While emotions can get the better of you during a negotiation, understanding the psychology and knowing the impact of emotion provides an advantage.

In most negotiating situations, you have more power than you think. In addition to an agile strategy and a keen understanding of deal-making tactics, succeeding at the bargaining table requires the right mindset and a high degree of emotional intelligence. This attracts respect, and you're best positioned to negotiate when the other party respects you, not only as a businessperson, but as a human being.

Trust, which is gained through that respect, is the key to successful negotiation. Never underestimate the natural ability of the people in the room to sense who you really are. Disingenuous, manipulative and secretive are behavioural elements that simply cannot be hidden. And once someone's values are subpar or lack integrity altogether, no greater red flag exists in the entire arena of negotiation.

Remember that you're not just creating an agreement, you're cultivating long-term relationships and your professional reputation. A good negotiator knows when to push the table further and when to give it space. It's about sensing the natural and appropriate rhythm of the people in the room and giving yourself and others the time and space to reflect on everything that has been said.

Here's how you can do just that:

Confidence is key

Increasing your confidence is essential. Confidence enables you to perform at a high level, stand up for your beliefs, and be direct. The best way to become confident at negotiating is to practice tough conversations and get feedback from the people you trust on areas that need improvement.

Apply the win-win paradigm

The win-win paradigm is the key to all successful negotiations, so infuse it into your being. Lay the foundation by discussing it at the start of every negotiation. Not only does this build credibility and trust, it also relieves pressure and gives you the upper hand. Always remember that no deal is sometimes the best deal. Embody abundance and be willing to walk away.

Pace the negotiation stage

Know when to negotiate. Too often, we begin negotiating before the other party is ready or sold on the solution on offer. For a negotiation to have ultimate success, it has to be a win-win for both you and the other party - and the other party needs to believe that the solution (or a version of the solution) on offer is desirable. Starting the negotiation before this point will almost always result in a lost opportunity.

Align stakeholder success with your own

The art of negotiation is simple - if you are able to show the bigger picture of balance or uplift, equating what you are offering with active, emotional or implicit and explicit value, you will win every negotiation. Make them believe that your success is tied to theirs.

Be an active listener

Patience is a formidable weapon. To master it, you need to restrain your desire to persuade and get genuinely invested in listening to your counterparts. Not only does listening give you the answers to where the win-win solution lies, it also helps you to get unstuck or declaw the attack if the situation gets heated.

Develop a fluid mindset

One of the most significant tools in any negotiation is flexibility of thought - which translates into business tact. A good negotiator knows when to push the conversation further and when to offer it space. This flexibility, combined with open communication, allows for the negotiation to flow, enabling both sides to work out solutions, even non-standard ones, with attention to culture and mutual respect.

Be clear on what they want 

Information is power. The moment you know what the other party wants, you've gained control of the situation and acquired leverage. Build on this leverage by asking the right questions and demonstrating tactical empathy with those with whom you're negotiating. Tactical empathy comes from asking questions that produce more details to strengthen your position.

Have multiple bargaining tools

Make sure you're across what objections you may be walking into and how to overcome them. Appeal to one of these six human needs: certainty, uncertainty, significance, love, growth, and giving. It's important to understand what matters most to both sides. Then whenever you can, create an environment whereby both parties are essentially working together to solve issues rather than taking an adversarial approach.

Be prepared to walk away

Know your worth, your negotiables and non-negotiables before entering a conversation. If there is alignment on these points and room to negotiate in areas on both sides, it is always going to be a more comfortable conversation. Be optimistic, however also be prepared to walk away if there isn't alignment. It could be the best thing you ever did.

Leverage time

Time is the most powerful tool in any negotiation - make sure you own it. If you sense urgency or a deadline, use this to your advantage. If they want something from you, by controlling the timeframe, you control the negotiation.