Mindset Shifts: Seeing What Others Don't

Six mindset shifts that will change your life.

  

‘Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, your values become your destiny.’ — Gandhi

Mindsets have power. They are fundamental, assumed patterns of thinking that shape how we make sense of the world and act in it. They are also highly durable with deep historical roots, emerging from and tied to social practices and institutions that are woven into the very fabric of society. And as such, they tend to change slowly.

There has been a recent swell of interest in mindset shifts and narrative change as a way of addressing and shifting worldviews, and unlocking and enabling progressive change. In his TED talk, Happiness Psychologist Shawn Achor shares, ‘It’s not necessarily the reality that shapes us, but the lens through which your brain views the world that shapes your reality. Ninety percent of your long-term happiness is predicted not by the external world, but by the way your brain processes the world. And if we change our formula for happiness and success, we can change the way that we can then affect reality.’

The bottom line? Mindset is everything. The story we tell ourselves is the story our mind believes. Our perception creates our reality. Our beliefs create our outcome. Therefore, the quickest way to live the life of your dreams is to shift your mindset. The question then becomes, how? How do you change your underlying beliefs and thought patterns? How do you see what others don't?

Here are six mindset shifts that will change your life.

Believe in Yourself

So much of what holds people back is the belief they have about themselves. And one of the most common beliefs? Feeling you’re not enough, not worthy, not deserving. For whatever reason you feel you’re not enough, know this: You were born enough. You are awesome, worthy and deserving of love, happiness and success. It’s not by chance that you have arrived here, on this planet, at this very time. There is only one you and people need what you bring to the world. You are uniquely you, and that is your superpower.

To make the shift, seek to understand and silence your inner critic.

• What are your underlying reasons for not feeling enough?

• Is the inner critic your own voice, or that of a parent or authority figure?

• What story are you telling yourself that is not true?

Now, set an affirmation cue. In a talk show on the BlueWire YouTube channel, Olympic swimming champion Michael Phelps opened up about struggling with depression and anxiety throughout his career. He shared his treatment and the advice his therapist gave him, 'I was in treatment at The Meadows, my therapist told me to say an affirmation every time I walk in through a doorway. How many doorways do you think you walk through a day? Wow! In and out of the bathroom at every single time, every doorway you go through say an affirmation.'

Empower Yourself

Change your thinking from 'I don’t have a choice' to 'I always have a choice'. How many times have you felt trapped or that you didn’t have a choice? You may not have control over the circumstances, and life will likely bring many challenges and difficulties, but you always have control over two very important things: your choices and your attitude.

In his book Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl, the Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist who survived the Holocaust shares, 'Everything can be taken from us but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.'

When you find yourself in a situation where you feel you have no choice, identify your options.

• What choices do you have? You can choose to complain or act. Choose to change or accept. Choose to take one step forward or stay where you are. Choose to speak up or stay quiet. Choose to look forward or continue to look back towards your past. Choose love or stay in anger and fear.

• Identify what is in your sphere of control. A lot of stress, frustration, fear and anger comes when things are - or feel - out of your control. When you feel out of control, take a step back and identify what you can control. Then, take action.

Believe in Possibility

Change your thinking from 'It's impossible' to 'It's possible'. If you don’t believe you can achieve something, it won’t happen. Therefore, if you want to live your dream life, you first must believe that it's possible.

For many years, everyone believed it was physically impossible to run a 4-minute mile. They said the human body was incapable and the heart would explode. In the 1940s, someone ran it in 4:01, a record that stayed for nine years. Then, in May 1954, Roger Bannister broke the 4-minute barrier, running the mile in 3:59.4. This didn’t happen solely by sheer hard work, training and passion. It happened because Roger believed that it was possible. He knew he could do it. He trained by visualising the outcome.

Less than six weeks later, Australian John Landy ran it in 3:58. Every year following, more people began accomplishing what was once thought impossible. Now, more than 1,400 individuals have run the 4-minute mile. Once Barrister broke the perception of what people believed was possible, it opened up the minds of others to believe the same thing.

To make the shift, choose a solution mindset when you find problems.

• Change your language. Shift your thinking from 'There’s no way' to 'There’s always a way'.

• Visualise the outcome. Our minds believe what we show and tell them; if you can visualise it happening, just like Banister, your mind will believe you. Imagine your dream life as if it’s already real.

Believe in the Good

Stop looking for the bad and start looking for the good. Studies on confirmation bias have proven that we find what we’re looking for. People tend to (often unconsciously) look for things that reinforce what they already believe to be true. If you’re looking for what is good in the world, you’re going to see that.

A key principle in leadership and team development is to ‘Assume Positive Intent.’ We often make assumptions and judgments about others based on their behaviour, without understanding their underlying motivation. Assuming positive intent requires us to consider another’s intention before we judge that behaviour. Everyone is dealing with something you have no idea about, and sometimes what seems like an attack on you is simply someone having a bad day, or just a different work style than yours.

To make the shift, change what you’re looking for. It’s time to start looking for those things that support your dream life. Look for the good. Find the positive. When you look for the good, the lesson or the intention, you will find it.

• Replace ‘Why is this happening to me?’ with ‘What is this teaching me?’

• Assume positive intent. Next time someone does something that upsets you or makes you angry, take a step back and assume they had a good intention. Suspend judgement and seek to understand why they might have done what they did.

Where Awareness Goes, Energy Flows

The knowledge and wisdom around manifestation is based on where you put your energy. The grass is always greener where you water it. Want greener grass in some area of your life? Water it with love, energy and positive attention. Change your thinking from 'watering the weeds' to 'watering the flowers'.

To make the shift, understand and accept that what you feed gets bigger.

• Water the flowers and you’ll get more flowers. Water the weeds and you’ll get more weeds. Feed your goals and you’ll reach your goals, feed your fears and you’ll get more fear.

Consciously Choose Gratitude

Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance. Being grateful is one of the simplest, yet most powerful things you can do to live your dream life. Studies continue to prove the benefits from expressing gratitude; ranging from how it improves relationships, physical and emotional health, and sleep to mental stamina, energy and overall happiness. In fact, it’s physically impossible to feel fear and gratitude at the same time!

To make the shift, the next time you feel you’re lacking in your life, the next time you feel jealous of what others have or unsatisfied with what you have, choose gratitude.

• Start a gratitude journal. Write down three things that you’re grateful for each day. Studies have shown that in just 21 days, your brain will hold on to this pattern and start finding the positive on its own. Being grateful invites even greater abundance into your life.

Consider your dream life. What thoughts, beliefs or mindset shifts do you need in order to create that life? What about that goal you’ve been trying to achieve: do you believe you can? If not, what would it take to believe it? What assumptions are you making about yourself or others that are getting in your way?

If you want to change your life, the first step is to shift your thinking. You, and only you, can decide who you want to become and how you're going to get there. Create the vision you have for yourself and go after it. Remove all the obstacles in your way, especially those in your mind. Remember, in order to change your story, you must consistently tell yourself a new story. For change to happen, you must be willing to change, and only you can create that change for yourself. No-one else can do it for you.